Alright kids, listen up. Something I hear all the time from the people around me is the phrase, “I don’t want to be a burden.” When I offer my help because I genuinely want to help, everyone’s initial reaction is to refuse it. I get it. I am the same way. I get that you don’t want to be an obligation that the other person dreads.
But here’s the thing. You are a burden. I am a burden. People are burdens. If you are a human being, you are a burden. A quick search on Google tells me that the definition of burden is a particularly heavy load. What person doesn’t come with their own set of baggage? Name one person who doesn’t have issues. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
People are complex. We are deep. We have flaws. Taking care of anyone is a big deal. When you get an offer of help from someone you suspect actually cares enough to help you, be a burden and speak up. If you aren’t sure whether or not they are just being polite, give them something easy to do and see how they get it done (like bring you a drink from Starbucks or drive you somewhere when you need a lift). If they act annoyed or complain to others, you know not to trust them with any more “help.”
But please, for the sake of all that is good in this world, take up space.
Accept help. Be proud to exist. Acknowledge your issues, because seriously, everyone has them. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to be cared for. You are a lot, but definitely not too much. You are a burden that someone is happy to carry. You are a burden that matters to someone. Sometimes it takes multiple people to carry you, but that happens to everyone at some point in their lives.
And you and I both know you’ll be the one to help carry someone else’s particularly heavy load sometime. When they come back with “but I don’t want to be a burden” assure them that they are a burden you are happy to take on. Maybe tell them about a time when you accepted a lot of help, especially if it was from them.
We need to accept that loving someone else is a big responsibility and a big job, but we do it because we love them. Not because we have to. Letting people care for us is scary and feels wrong, but I swear, it’s okay. Just let go and be a burden.