*For the first time in foreverrrrrrrr* I had a good day! I did not get the things done that I had on my checklist, but I did get a ton of stuff done. I got tons of laundry done (we are still washing all the stuff in the house because of a lice incident), and I got a lot of it put away. There was a mountain of clean laundry on my bed and since my sheets got lost in the mountain of dirty laundry, I had just been piling clean clothes on my bed and sleeping on my couch. My back is still admonishing me for that. But all the laundry on my bed has been put away and I found my bedding and washed it. So finally, my bed is made and pretty, although I’m missing my king sized pillows still. I have one wimpy pillow. Oh well.

I cleaned up the wreck of a living room, ironed four shirts (I haven’t ironed in years, and that’s not an exaggeration), did some more laundry, and cleaned up my bedroom (which is where everything gets dumped when people show up last minute and I have to make my house look clean). Oh, and I cleaned out my closet by taking all the stuff I didn’t want and putting it in the garage to deal with later. I got a lot done!

My first attempt at getting over the fact that I didn’t finish everything

You might notice, however, that I did not get a blog post out yesterday, and I did not get any of my homework done. So it’s a little bittersweet. I got important stuff done and left important stuff undone. It was extremely hard to get over that last fact.

When my husband came home, I hadn’t packed the kids’ bags for a sleepover at the grandparents’ house, in fact, I couldn’t even find clothes for two out of my three kids (lice remember? everything had been bagged up and taken downstairs). In the process of cleaning, I made everything much worse so the place looked terrible and I was hoping to have a lot more done before hubby came home. He walked in the door and I cried. Bless him, he didn’t get frustrated with me. I told him I didn’t want to go to band practice tonight, and he was very gracious and didn’t make me feel guilty for canceling. He told me that instead of having the kids sleep over, he was just going to have Mamaw watch them for the few hours he was going to be gone tonight and then he would bring them home, meaning I didn’t have to find extra clothes to pack.

He got everyone out of the house and I got to be all by myself. I listened to music for quite a while, watched some Bob’s Burgers and then I decided I wanted my house to be cozy, so I picked up my cleaning from where I left off. He came home later with the kids and two Dr. Peppers (one for tonight and one for tomorrow) to find two of the rooms in our house very presentable.

Today, my hubby was my happy place. He took me there and I am so grateful for him and his patience. Even though he can’t always help me, he always tries. It’s why I love him. It’s why today turned out to be a good day.

Do you ever have issues celebrating your successes because you didn’t get things done exactly how you wanted? Can you get to a place where that doesn’t happen anymore? Tell me how you cope in the comments! I need advice!

4 Musicals to Take Me to My Happy Place

As you can probably tell by my last post (How Much Do You Think It Would Cost to Hire a Body Double to Live My Life for a While Because I’m Temporarily Dead) this week has been a complete terror. But hubby and I worked really hard to prepare for today so that it can be a relaxing day for both of us while still having the kids. We were out late last night at a family party which tired the kids out and they slept fairly late (for them anyway). We set up the PS3 downstairs so that the kids could go hang out in the den down there and keep the morning quiet. We had food ready for them when they woke up so they wouldn’t scream and cry at us first thing. They had blankets and pillows and comfy chairs and pretty much everything they ever wanted and hubby and I had peace. Sweet peace, glorious peace. I slept until 9:30 and he got to play Destiny all morning (with some care for the baby in there somewhere). This kind of morning has not happened since… I don’t even know.

Feeling a little uplifted after that kind of a morning, I put another load of laundry together (good heaven, it never freakin’ ends) and another load of dishes (ditto) and I put on a musical that I thought my daughter might like to watch with me: the Phantom of the Opera. She didn’t quite understand all of the story (she’s 6) but she loved the dresses and the music. As for me, I love pretending I am Christine Daae and I get to be that pretty and wanted and special. It definitely took me to my happy place. It’s one of my go-to musicals to get me there. I thought I might share my list of favorites to help someone else out too.

In no particular order:

  • Phantom of the Opera: you get to be Christine Daae, the orphan who is the daughter of the late great violinist. Her voice and beauty beat out the Prima Donna of the opera and her great voice teacher is an unseen genius. Her childhood friend, Raul has become the patron of the opera house, and he recognizes Christine singing on stage and he still loves her. It’s a great tragedy and romance set in France in a time when ladies wore incredible gowns and gentlemen were dressed to the nines. It’s very stereotypical, but I still love it.
  • Hello Dolly!: This is another musical that will transport you to the past. It’s 1890 and widow Dolly Levi has been hard at work managing other people’s affairs. Anything you need done, she can do it and she specializes in the art of matchmaking. When she realizes that the man she has her eye on is going to ask another woman to marry him, she comes up with a plan on the fly to be her own matchmaker. In the process, she sets up the lives of those around her and moves all the pieces into place. She is bold and lively and lovely. She has grace and elegance to spare and she only needs one day to change her future and find love once again. You’ll be spending the rest of your day pretending you are Dolly Levi.

The King and I: Okay first of all Mrs. Anna’s wardrobe here is amazing! I wish I could walk around in dresses like that and not be looked at like I’m due back at the mental institution any minute now. But I love this musical because Mrs. Anna Leonowens moves with her son Louis to Siam to teach the King’s children about… well everything. The King has like 60 children or something like that, not to mention the children of his wives who are in trouble with him. Anna is something new to Siam because she is a woman with an education. She becomes an unofficial advisor to the King during her time there and she calls him out on some pretty barbaric traditions. I like this musical because Anna is a force to be reckoned with and not even the King of Siam was enough to subdue her. In fact, she changed his thinking and therefore his reign. And because she taught the crown prince who is still very young, she changes the ways of Siam through his education. The music and dancing are phenomenal and make me wish I was in a musical on stage in real life.

  • Seven Brides for Seven Brothers: I will probably catch some flies for this one. It is about seven brothers in the wild west who don’t know how to treat women, but still want to marry them. That’s the TL:DR version. The oldest, Adam, goes into town looking for a wife and comes home with Milly, all in one day. Milly is tough and she doesn’t take crap, so when she comes home to six nasty looking brothers she realizes she is going to have to cook and clean for, she immediately makes plans to get them married and moved out of her house. She cleans them up and teaches them some manners just in time for them to go to a barn raising where they meet the girls of their dreams. The men are genuinely in love, but the ladies have tons of men to choose from. The brothers think they are never going to get a chance with their ladies so they do something terrible. They kidnap the ladies and cause an avalanche between them and the town, so they can take the ladies back to the cabin for the winter and their families won’t come for them until the snow melts. They think they can make their ladies fall in love with them before that happens. They are complete idiots, but love-sick idiots (although is there such a thing as a love-sick genius?). Other than, you know, kidnapping them, the brothers are never disrespectful to the ladies and you can tell they are genuinely trying, which over the course of the long winter, the ladies see that too. They all end up falling in love and everyone lives happily ever after and really the concept of this musical is terrible, but I like the choreography and music. I mean those are some really talented men (for reference, look to the barn raising dance). Anyway, I don’t care who gets mad at me. I like this musical with a horrible story. It takes me to my happy place and that’s all I care about.  #maybeIhavesomeissuestoworkout

I hope that you can find ways to your happy place. Don’t be afraid to like what you like. Try everything and discover new things about what makes you happy! Maybe you could comment with some of your favorite musicals! I need some new ones to try!

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How Much Do You Think It Would Cost to Hire a Body Double to Live My Life For a While?

The last day and a half have been the worst. I haven’t been diagnosed with anxiety but I have been diagnosed with depression. When my routine or world changes, it makes me continuously worried, as if you’re waiting to get test results back from the doctor.

So all week I have been looking at the end of the week when my family has a bunch of appointments that have coincidentally fallen in these two days. There’s nothing wrong with the schedule. I have plenty of time to get everyone where they need to be, but instead of my normal safe routine at home, I’ve been out for two days. Driving my husband to work, driving my daughter to school, going into the school to set up our family for car pickup so they will release her to me instead of putting her on the bus.

I’ve been dealing with crazy parents who show up to pick up their kids more than an hour before school dismisses, otherwise, you’ll be lined up down the street because apparently everyone picks up their kid. I took my boys to a doctor appointment that’s a half hour away from my house and my youngest had to get four shots and my oldest got the flu shot. Needless to say, that examination room was a mess.

My son’s speech therapist had to change the day she comes to work with him and so for the first time, she was supposed to come today. I couldn’t get the place cleaned up in time and so I canceled on her. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Oh and I forgot to mention that my son’s therapy coordinator showed up to re-evaluate his needs and I didn’t even remember I had an appointment with her until she knocked on my door. I answered the door to my hurricane of a house that’s been dealing with lice all week and I was barely holding back the tears. I begged her to reschedule and she took one look at me and said, “Yeah, I can tell you’re not feeling well. Can we set a date now?” So now it has officially been confirmed, I look like crap. I apologized profusely as she left and I texted my husband and my best friend telling them how mortified I was. Of course, they told me I was still a good mom, but I know they’re lying because the coordinator already told me. I’m a mess.

So I sat on my couch with my toddler in his pack ‘n play, my preschooler on his Kindle, and my daughter at school and husband at work, thankfully reducing the number of people witnessing this meltdown.

This morning my son woke everyone up at 3:11am and I am dead. I packed up the van and drove everyone where they needed to be while I was on autopilot. I have been in the car for hours these last two days. Seriously!

  • The time it takes to get to hubby’s work (one way): 25mins
  • The time it takes to get to school from hubby’s work: 30mins
  • The time it takes to get to the doctor’s office (one way): 30 mins
  • The time it takes to get to a family event tonight: 30mins

So today alone I have been in the car for three hours and 55 minutes altogether. I hope you guys put lots of lilies on my casket because I’m dead now.

When we returned home from the doctor appointment this morning, I made sure the kids had food, somehow found my last bit of energy to put in a load of dishes and a load of clothes and clean half of the living room before I shut down. We all took a nap and didn’t wake up until my daughter walked in off the bus three hours later.

I had the kids help finish cleaning the living room, we picked up my husband from work, came back home, had an hour for dinner and now we’re on our way to a family party that I don’t even want to go to but in order to keep the peace, I have to pretend I care. I know I shouldn’t have to do that, but either I deal with the effort of shoving it under the rug or the effort of dealing with maybe the most dramatic member of my family.

In my happy place, everyone is gone. They’ve taken a vacation and left me at home alone. I don’t have to drive, cook, change diapers, deal with family or any other human beings. I never clean anything up and I don’t feel guilty about it because no one else has to live in it but me. I have lots of money to order pizza and Dr. Pepper for every meal and I sit on the couch watching whatever I want the whole time. I even sleep on the couch. And I sleep. And sleep. And sleep.


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